Degrees of Separation

We are losing you by bits and pieces
like dropouts on a videotape:
first, our mealtimes together-
our one-pot meals
bathed by the setting sun
become unsuccessful sustenance.
We quit. I eat on the run
hiding in the kitchen
so as not to remind you
of what you cannot do.

Then, those few household chores,
your share becomes mine:
taking out the garbage,
emptying the dishwasher.
Weekly reminders-
you slipping away.

I miss your jack-of-all-trades talents:
designing, building, testing, troubleshooting.
I take on these tasks or not.
I learn to let things be undone.
Life goes on anyway.

Most of all I miss your music.
Every once in awhile I ask
if music still courses through your head
and I watch closely to see
if your fingers still mark the rhythm

But a silence bears down on me
these days. A strong, loud silence
as I practice being alone again.

                                           Franconia
                                          August 1999

 

~Return To "Losing"